


Pink Roses and Thistles and Shamrocks and Leeks

by Clocksmith



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Alternate Personality Clone, Big Bad Word Swearing, Diana Likes Cheeseburgers, F/F, Messy eating, Repressed Diana, Swearing, crude behaviour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27211759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clocksmith/pseuds/Clocksmith
Summary: Attempting to woo Diana with magic was likely Akko's first mistake. Accidentally casting the spell on Diana and splitting her in two was most definitely the second.Akko wasn't sure if there was a third mistake, but going on a date with this new Diana likely wasn't her best idea either.
Relationships: Akko - Relationship, Diana Cavendish & Atsuko "Akko" Kagari, Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari
Comments: 39
Kudos: 235





	1. I Shall Split This Red Red Rose

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was commissioned by the wonderful jacobgross555 and I am still enjoying all these new prompts I never would have stumbled across otherwise. If you're interested in a commission yourself, you'll find me hanging around at www.fiverr.com/eerieclocksmith/write-the-thing-if-you-want-the-thing

All things considered, red was quite the fine choice when it came roses. It was a classic. One that you could gift a partner to show just how much you truly cared for them. Or it could be an apology, readily offered in order to _definitely_ prove that you cared, despite all evidence pointing to the contrary. They were a symbol of love, of pure unadulterated care and passion.

It said romance.

It said desire.

But pink roses were super cute… and white roses reflected the gentle pale of Diana’s skin, and the brilliant platinum of her hair…

“You do know you’re still talking, right?” Sucy asked.

Akko shook the clouds from her head. “It matters not, fair Sucy! For once I split this most elegant red red rose in twain, I shall prove my devotion is fair and true, and finally claim Diana’s heart with–”

“Still talking.”

“Ugh…” Akko’s voice fell. “Look, are you guys going to help me out, nor not?”

“Yes, we are,” Lotte insisted, resting a gentle hand on Sucy’s shoulder. “Aren’t we?”

Sucy contemplated an answer, taking her sweet time to do so. “Eh, sige,” she eventually offered with a creeping smile.

Akko searched her memory. “That means yes, right?”

“That’s what I said.”

Sucy only ever went all mother tongue on them when she wanted to hide that she cared… or so Lotte claimed. That could well have just been a sneaky coverup for her girlfriend. But Akko was inclined to agree, if only to make the odd appearance of Filipino banter a heart-warming little gift rather than a sneaky little bite of snark that Akko couldn’t understand.

But now was not the time for Filipino. Now was the time for the language of love, the language romance! Or at the very least, the language of making something pretty to help with asking out the equally pretty girl that you still hadn’t asked out because it was hard and you wanted to still be friends if it all went wrong and you were _pretty_ sure that she wouldn’t make a big deal out of it all but what if she did and she–

“Maybe it would be better if we tried the spell a few more times?” Lotte eventually suggested, gently clapping her hands. “You’re so close! I’m sure of it.”

Still talking. Right.

The eponymous rose sat in front of Akko, waiting inside its little pot, on the dry grass of the courtyard. The petals spread in full bloom, droplets of freshly sprayed water hugging to the red.

She hadn’t _needed_ to grow her own rose. It would have been perfectly acceptable to buy one from the shops or entice some seeds to instantly grow with a little help from Sucy and her potions. But ‘perfectly acceptable’ was definitely not good enough for Diana Cavendish, nor did Akko think a rose bought from the small shop on Anderson Street was a worthy enough gift for such a splendid sort of lady.

“I still don’t get why you don’t just tell her that you want to go out with her,” Sucy said plainly. “It worked for me.”

“Because I want Diana to know that she means something to me. She’ll just think I’ve got a silly little crush like all the guys that used ask her out and I am not having that. I want her to feel completely wooed. So wooed that her socks fall off.”

“… I felt pretty wooed,” Lotte admitted.

Sucy confidently smiled. “See?”

Sucy could woo Lotte however she wanted. “Well, I’m going with my rose. Diana is from an old family and I’m staying with the tried and tested method.”

“Yeah, because asking someone out is totally too modern for Diana Cavendish.”

Part of Akko had to agree with Sucy. For all the banter and teasing that went on between them, Sucy did have a point. Akko could have simply walked up to Diana and asked her out for food or invited her to the cinema to see a film.

It wasn’t like Diana was unattainable, or something. Akko knew she was into girls. She knew that Diana was single. She knew that they got on very well, that they both considered each other to be among their very best friends.

She was in the same sort of situation that Sucy had been in before she had asked out Lotte. The exact same situation. Looking at Sucy, and all her teasing, it wasn’t hard to see the heartfelt advice whispering just beneath the surface; “ask her out, you absolute idiot. It’ll be fine.”

But once again, fine was not good enough for Diana. Akko didn’t want her confession to be fine. She wanted it to be _fine_ , like a well-aged wine. Like everything else that surrounded Diana and her upper-class lifestyle.

That brought Akko back to the rose.

Her magic skills were… not quite impressive. Not terrible, by any means; as with any skill, practise over the last year with a regular wand and just as regular a training schedule had brought her magic skills in line with many other first-time students. If asked, she would even say that she was pretty good!

But pretty good was still not impressive, and impressive was how Akko would describe Diana’s hold over magic. Not just in class, but in all things. Her use of casual magic was something Akko always found inspiring, how easily she did everyday things with a wave of her wand and barely a thought behind it. Fetching gups for tea or straightening her own tie when it became even the slightest bit loose.

That was the aspect Akko wished to showcase in her confession; that she could do something benign with her magic, simply because she wanted to treat Diana to two of beautiful roses.

Whether Diana knew that Akko had spent far longer than she’d wanted actually casting the spell was entirely beside the point. Two prettier flowers taken from one pretty flower, for the more-than-pretty English lady was the important aspect of Akko’s mission, and she would ensure that Diana only saw the brilliant fruits of her labour.

Her plan was perfect. And they did say that third time was the charm.

Steeling her nerves and taking in a deep breath, Akko let her mind calm. Her thoughts were empty, save for the task at hand and the spell she needed to complete. No more distractions, no more arbitrary fantasies of how the resulting plants would be used.

She was in the here and now. The future did not yet matter.

She closed her eyes.

Dealachadh.

_Dealachadh!_

One more time, that’s all she needed. She could feel it in her bones, at the centre of her soul. She could feel the flow of magic beneath her feet, seeping up into her very being as the ley lines gifted her their precious power.

For Diana.

This was for Diana.

“Dealacha–”

Lotte loudly cleared her throat, desperately hissing something under her breath that Akko couldn’t quite understand.

Akko opened her eyes, and she immediately knew what Lotte had been trying to say.

Diana was there in the corner of her vision, approaching from the edge of the courtyard. She waved at Sucy, and Akko just about caught Sucy grinning as she waved back.

But Diana was still there, and Akko’s calm melted into a pool at the base of her stomach until it bubbled into a frothy milkshake of pure excitement. “Diana!” Butterflies skimmed the surface, smile stretched wide onto her face as she turned.

Her hand was still outstretched, and an overeager spell left the very tip of her wand.

Reams of magic split through the air, shifting over the empty grass of the courtyard until the energy focused on the only available entity in their way. Unfortunately, that entity just so happened to be Diana Cavendish.

The space around said target erupted into thick spray of pink mist and loose dirt, Diana at the centre and utterly obscured in the thick clouds of colour that continued to linger above the grass.

Shit. No, shit.

Double shit.

“Oh no,” Sucy droned, still lightly waving her hand back and forth. “What an unfortunate turn of events.”

 _Shit!_ “Diana!”

Akko ran to the cloud, followed closely by Lotte and her girlfriend who insisted on wandering slowly behind. But the closer the former two stepped, the quicker they realised that Sucy might have had the right idea. The haze was already beginning to recede back into its central point of contact and a figure began to reappear in its absence.

When the mist finally settled into nothing, it wasn’t just Diana, anymore.

It was two of them.

Both pushed up against the grass, one only slightly more eager than the other. Both groaned into the air, grasping their heads and pulling their fingers roughly though their dishevelled blonde hair.

Then one of them spoke.

“Ugh, fuck me…”

“Language…” the other chastised; her voice vaguely groggy and tired

Akko still had the odd English saying that caused her issue, especially the ones with double meanings. Or the same meaning, just with different spellings. Or the really stupid ones that meant one thing in the cities but a completely different thing in the countryside. Or those little words that people in Scotland used for–

She was getting side-tracked. Either way, she knew the current context. She knew the _other_ contexts that said phrase could be used in – all the swear words were among the ones she’d learned first, naturally. But she just couldn’t imagine Diana Cavendish using any variation of ‘ _fuck me’_.

Well, Akko supposed she didn’t have to imagine now. Wait… not important.

_Not important!_

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I was aiming for the rose!” And she’d missed by more than just a few meters, but Akko wasn’t concerned with offering excuses. She could, and absolutely would give as many as she wanted later. “Diana! Diana, are you okay?”

Being that there were now two of Diana on the ground, Akko could only assume that the objective answer was probably no. But it couldn’t hurt to check, right?

“Oh, yes. Absolutely,” one said. Was it the same one that had cursed? “It’s always rather good to know that one of my best friends is trying to kill me.” It was only then that she turned her head to see the other Diana across from her. “ _Holy shit._ ”

Diana was saying ‘ _shit’_ now.

Saying crap, Akko could maybe see, assuming the situation called for it. Like… that time a few days ago, when Akko had made for the toilet and she’d stubbed her little toe on the side of her bed and she said the most disgustingly obscene things in Japanese because damn, that shit really hurt and she absolutely forgot to care that neither Sucy or Lotte would understand a single word she was saying when they suddenly woke up.

Like that, except Diana would hop around whispering a hushed ‘crap’ under her breath in an accent far too refined for such filthy words.

“Holy shit,” Diana repeated. “You’re me!”

Other Diana finally seemed to catch wind. “What…” Her eyes focused. “What are you talking about…?”

Both shifted onto their knees; one making sure to hold her skirt as she did, whilst the other seemed to forget she was wearing a skirt all.

“O-Oh my– I don’t…”

“This is so bloody weird.”

“You’re me?”

“I’m you!”

Both stood, turning at the exact same moment to face Akko.

Their voices came in perfect harmony. “What did you do?!”

Excuse time. “Okay, so you’re going to love this.” They wouldn’t. “I was trying to transmute the red roses into pink and white roses.” They definitely didn’t love it. One looked on in distinct displeasure as the other glared with so many daggers that Akko worried for her major veins and arteries. “Because pink roses are super cute and, uh… you know. White roses can be nice.”

“So is not messing around with stray magic in the courtyard!” she chided. Akko had lost track of which Diana was which. Both Diana _and_ Diana had discipline down to an art. “Do you know how irresponsible that was? You could have seriously hurt someone.”

“You’ve literally split me in half!”

Akko wanted to point out that there seemed to be little wrong with that fact, but she quashed it down. She doubted it would help, and she doubted it would remain true for very long if it did. “And I am very, _very_ sorry.” She clapped her hands together and her bowed her head. “Please don’t kill me.”

“I think you should,” Sucy said.

“Not helping,” Lotte hissed.

One Diana suddenly found an extreme interest in her hands, twisting them this way and that as the other Diana marched up to within an inch of Akko’s face.

“I’m serious, Akko. What if you had _literally_ split me in half? You could have seriously hurt someone.”

No one had been directly named, but Akko say the truth in Diana’s eyes. _You could have hurt me_.

“Which is why it’s good that no one was!” Akko responded; her wide smile forced. “Right, Other Diana?”

“Huh?” She looked up from her hands. “Oh, yeah. Right. Cool beans.”

_Cool beans?_

Akko hadn’t heard that one, but ‘cool beans’? Was that slang? When did Diana ever use slang? When did Diana ever talk about _beans?_

England was weird.

Diana didn’t seem as cool beaned about it. “What do you mean, ‘ _cool beans’?_ We’re the same person; you should know how inappropriate–”

“Oh my God, will you shut up!” Other Diana waved out her hands. “Are you on your fucking period? She said she was sorry.”

_“Excuse me?!”_

As Diana turned to Other Diana, Akko took a long step back. Right back to Sucy and Lotte. If everything went to Hell, Akko only had to outrun them to save herself.

They would be missed.

“This is getting good,” Sucy whispered.

Lotte would be missed.

Despite the fierceness in her eyes, Akko could see the prominent blush spreading up over Diana’s face. Whether it was down to disgust, embarrassment or sheer unadulterated rage, Akko wasn’t sure, but she didn’t want to ask at the risk of the latter one overwhelming the former two and beating her into a early death.

“That is a deeply personal matter and you should not be– no, wait.” Her nose creased. “No! You’re me! You know I’m not.”

Sucy whispered again. “She still has five days.”

Sucy would decidedly not be missed.

“Why would you even say something so– something so–”

“Crass…” Other Diana hesitantly finished. “That _was_ crass, wasn’t it?

Other Diana simply looked at her hands again, watching intently as she grazed them over hips and then up through her hair.

Then she looked directly at Diana. “Cunt.”

If Diana had been red before, the blood beneath her skin positively broiled now. The red spread up her face, igniting a new fire behind her eyes. But she didn’t have time to act on it.

“I can say _cunt!”_ Other Diana squealed.

Akko really had to be sure. “That’s the super bad one, right?”

The hesitant cringe on Lotte’s face said it all. “Yeah. It’s the bad one.”

“Unless you live in Australia,” Sucy added. “Then it’s like a high-five.”

Akko scratched out her previous thought. It wasn’t just England, was it? It was English. English was weird, and nothing would ever convince Akko otherwise.

“How _dare–_ ” Diana wasn’t having any luck, it seemed.

“Oh my God, I said cunt. I actually said cunt.” Her smile positive beamed. “And I don’t care!”

Where Diana stood defiant, her legs separate, and her hands balled into tight fists, Other Diana burst with an unrestrained excitement. The sort you only see from young children on Christmas morning upon getting that new toy they had spent months begging for.

“Go on, you try.”

“No! I’m not– I am _not_ saying that.”

“Come on, you know you want to.”

“I do _not_ want to!”

“But _I_ wanted to,” Other Diana said. “I want to do other stuff. What other stuff can I do?”

“Don’t–”

“What should I say? There’s so much stuff I’ve always wanted to say.”

“Go for it!” Sucy barked.

Other Diana took in a horrendously deep breath before even Akko had time to think of an eloquent response. Before even Lotte could chide her girlfriend.

“I’m gay!”

Sucy’s grin flattened into bored line. “Yes, we know. You told us last year. Anything else?”

Lotte elbowed Sucy in the ribs, with little to no effect.

“I prefer bums over boobs! I have a thing for brunettes!”

Akko took note.

You know, in case she needed to use that information later. For science.

“More stuff, more stuff…” Other Diana mused, looking to Diana for any slither of inspiration. When none came, her eyes landed firmly on Akko. “Oh shit! Akko! Akko, we should–”

Diana had her hand clamped firmly around Other Diana’s mouth before the latter could so much as blink. Her other hand reached over to hold Other Diana’s bicep still before pulling herself quickly towards the nearest entrance to Luna Nova proper.

“We’re going to see Headmistress Holbrooke. We’re going to get her opinion and get this fixed.”

Other Diana mumbled something into Diana’s open palm, but that only incentivised Diana to clamp down tighter. When she tried again, it was with a devilish gleam in her eyes.

Diana was suddenly very quick to pull her hand away. “Ugh!” She let go of Other Diana entirely, waving her hand frantically up and down with a definite sneer spreading over her lips. “You _licked_ me!”

“No; you licked you,” Other Diana replied.

Hand firmly wiped on the side of her shirt, Diana returned to the attack, regardless. She grabbed at Other Diana’s hand and quickly dragged her off. “We are going to see the Headmistress; end of the discussion.”

“Yes, _mother_ ,” Other Diana snorted. Then she turned her head back. “Bye Akko!” she added, with only the briefest wink.

Akko meekly waved back. “… Bye Diana?” Dianas?

A wink so brief that Akko wondered if she’d actually seen it at all.


	2. Thistle Do Nicely

Holbrooke sat back in her tall chair and sighed. It wasn’t exactly tired, but neither was it the sort of sound one made when they were particularly pleased to hear something.

So much for sympathy from the expert.

“Such blatant misuse of magic, Diana. Honestly, I’m surprised at you.”

“I got distracted,” Diana said, this Diana that refused to say a _naughty word_ when she had the perfect opportunity to do so. She’d always wanted to swear in public. _They_ had always wanted to swear in public. “I assure you that it won’t happen again.” Even with only her friends surrounding her, she couldn’t find the balls to break character.

“Just see that you’re more careful, Diana,” Holbrooke replied with a smile. “There’s no need to be so dire about it. We’re all allowed the odd mistake. Even the likes of you.”

It was highly likely it wouldn’t happen to us again, given that Akko was the one who’d buggered up whatever spell she’d been trying to cast. Less unusual, that. But Akko had been sorry, and she didn’t need the extra punishments such a mistake would land her. Not when Diana Cavendish could get away scot-free.

Akko.

Akko was refreshing. She drifted on a whim and went wherever that fancy took her. She experimented, she tried new things whenever she was forced to confront them, and even when she wasn’t.

She’d come to a whole new country just to go to the same school as her childhood idol. That was dedication to your dreams, right there.

She was committed to following her passions.

She was open about who she was.

She was an utterly gorgeous human being.

There was literally no greater set of words that Diana – either Diana could use to accurately describe Atsuko Kagari. So much of her being sparkled with a childlike wonder despite everything that existed in the world. The spark that Diana had long since left behind remained in Akko, of the girl that still stared up at the night sky as if Shiny Chariot swam through the stars.

She saw the side of things that Diana did not. She saw the other side of the coin, the side without the decorum. The side that didn’t have the face of the Queen printed firmly on the surface.

Akko was the other side, the one less examined. The one printed with roses and thistles and shamrocks and leeks. The side with variety and representation, the one that covered different cultures and livelihoods in such a small space.

She was a bundle of all the best things in Diana’s life, a collection of many things that made a greater whole.

Diana was the Queen, ever stoic and only growing older as the years past her by.

It was bullshit, is what it was. What was the point in being rich and influential if it only meant that any potential girlfriend was dragged down into all the crap that came with it? High society and arseholes who couldn’t keep their noses out of other peoples’ business even if someone dropkicked them off a cliff? Etiquette and tradition that was so out of date that even the rats wouldn’t touch it.

It was all so pointless and so mind-numbingly frustrating that so many still thought it enjoyable to go along with it all. Those were the kinds of people that had made horse riding less fun.

They made _clothing_ less fun. Tweed was wonderful, but God forbid Diana wear it outside of any occasion where her bum was firmly attached to the saddle of said previously mentioned horse.

In the corner of her wandering vision, Better Diana could just about see Holbrooke speaking through something vaguely interesting with Boring Diana. Prudish Diana. Doesn’t-Get-Out-Enough-To-Know-How-To-Properly-Talk-To-Her-Sexy-Japanese-Best-Friend Diana.

Why were they even still there? Could Holbrooke not just give them a good answer to their problem and be done with it? Out of everything that had ever happened at Luna Nova, out of every magical mishap, standing in her office with Less-Than-Fun Diana felt like the most matte-grey eternity. The most inconvenient.

Splendid Diana could have been eating. Or sleeping. Or talking with Akko about how she could have possibly managed to split Diana in two in the first place. Because Amazing Diana really wanted to know how the fuck you managed such a feat by accident.

That word: _fuck._

Diana had never said fuck in her life, yet now it felt comfortable. It felt like a natural addition to her world as it settled in her head, pleasantly pleased with where it found itself. And why not? It was a wonderfully useful word. It covered so many areas; it could be an adjective, a verb. Multiple adjectives and verbs at once, if one were feeling so inclined. It could describe a broken car, a tired woman. An intimately primal session of sex and passion.

It could describe many of the people Diana had to deal with outside of school.

Yet she’d never used it. She’d never let it leave her lips, despite how much it would have helped alleviate the pressure built up by so many problems in her life.

But Exciting Diana found a sweetness in it. Something small and delicious.

“And what about you, uh… Diana?” Holbrooke asked, her tone struggling with her name. Was it her name?

Ultimate Diana found herself caught off-guard, between two figures patiently waiting on some sort of reply.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I wasn’t listening.”

Despite the hope that things might have gotten interesting, the headmistress took little reaction to the admission. “I was just saying that, if you both agree, I can cast a spell that can fix this whole issue. But I do need permission from you both; recombining aspects of the self is much easier if one side doesn’t disagree with the other.”

All of that sounded vaguely important… but one aspect even more so.

“So… I can decline. Right?”

Holbrooke paused, her smile wavering for the slightest moment. “Yes, you could. We cannot recombine one person if they do not agree to be one person. It could lead to yet more issues.”

“I decline, then,” Whimsical Diana said, proudly.

Disagreeable Diana did not take it well. “Wait, no. You can’t refuse recombine with me. We’re meant to be one person.”

“Yeah, sure. I’m definitely going back into the person that doesn’t let me say ‘fuck’ whenever I hit my knee on the coffee table.”

“Language, Diana,” Holbrooke chastised. “This situation aside, you are still in my office.”

“Diana, _Diana._ That’s so _boring_ ,” she whined. “Akko doesn’t go by her full name. She has her cute little – oh! No, wait. I want a nickname!” And one came to mind immediately, one that she’d carried in her mind ever since she was a little girl. “Dee. My name is Dee.”

And Diana knew it, too. Dee saw her stiffen; her hands begin to clench… but stopping before they ever resemble fists. The muscles showed restraint, ignoring all else when their mother chastised them for daring to react to anything remotely natural.

“Very well,” Holbrooke said, calmly. Trust Diana to react less to her own dreams than a teacher who didn’t know them at all. “Dee, then. You must realise that you will need to recombine eventually.”

“Uh, obviously. I’m not stupid.”

If she took offence to Dee’s backchat, Holbrooke certainly didn’t show it. “In that case, Diana?”

“Yes, Headmistress?”

“Dee is hesitant, that much is clear. This is not unusual; a person is made of many facets. Some we hide deep in the back of our heart, and some we make public.” Some they stuck in a drawer with their old socks and broken dreams, Dee thought bitterly. “This facet of you wishes to–”

“I have a _name_.”

To her credit, Holbrooke looked momentarily guilty. “… My apologises. Dee wishes to experience the ideas that her facet embodies, and I recommended you work with each other to accommodate those ideas, if only for a short while. You both need to agree on coming together, and you cannot do that if both of you wish for different things.”

“You wish for me to… entertain her desires.”

It was very much not a question, and that lit something bright in Dee’s chest. “Yes. Using force in this matter is unwise, as it will only push you both apart. And when you are meant to be the same person, that can prove to be rather more dangerous than simply working out your differences together. Do you understand.”

“Of course, Headmistress.”

Free therapy, then. Dee let the heel of her hands hit together before clapping.

“This is going to be so much fun!”

In the minutes after, they were both taught the required spell. Not that Dee considered herself the one who would eventually cast it, of course. If Diana wanted to repress whatever it was that Dee wanted to be, that was all on her; Dee wanted to see. To do.

A spark at the back of her head suggested Akko be the recipient of both.

In the empty air of the hallway outside Holbrooke’s office, Diana’s visage did not change. That calm melancholy sat on her features, unconcerned with whatever frustrations and anger dwelled inside her.

“So… what would you like to do?” she eventually asked, defeated.

Now they were getting to the good stuff. “ _Finally._ We’re going to the Shamrock with Akko and Sucy and Lotte and Amanda and getting absolutely shitfaced.”

“Absolutely…?”

“Absolutely shitfaced,” Dee confirmed.

“Absolutely not.”

Unlike Diana, Dee had no issue with clenching her fists. She had no issue with the pain as the sharp of her nails dug into her skin.

She had no problem staring Diana Cavendish down.

“Holbrooke _said_ to let me do stuff.”

“Headmistress Holbrooke suggested that I entertain a few of your requests. Not that we head to the pub and get drunk with our friends.”

“What’s wrong with getting drunk with our friends? You _want_ to go out and get drunk your friends.”

“No, I don’t.”

“I’m you. You’re _me._ Anything I want is something you want.”

“It is called restraint; having the urge to do something does not equate to one needing to do it.”

“Fine. Let me go to the pub.”

“Without any sort of identification, or even the appropriate _age_ required to buy alcohol, I would like to see you try.”

The thought hadn’t occurred to Dee, in all honesty. She hadn’t considered the specifics of the _how_. She only knew the _when, where_ and _why._ She knew what she wanted.

Anything else felt redundant. Simply there to get in her way of a good time.

“Fine,” she said again. “Fine! I want to go to clubbing.”

“Again, good luck getting inside.”

Dee grit her teeth. “We can pay our way inside.”

“No. We’re not bribing staff to get into a club that we won’t enjoy.”

“I _will_ enjoy it.”

“And how do you know that?”

For a moment there was only Dee’s laboured breathing as they continued down the halls, towards the stairs that led to Diana’s dorm. When Dee spoke next, her voice was determined.

“How do you know we won’t?”

“Because I have common sense.”

“Common sense my backside; you’re just too scared to let me try anything.”

“I am _not_ too scared. I’m looking out for you. You can’t just go around doing whatever you want. I have a name–”

“Oh, blah blahblah blah blah. I have a name, too; it’s Dee. It’s stands for Don’t-Give-a-Shit. I’m not going back inside you until I get to do something I want.”

“And you will,” Diana stressed. “But it has to be within reason.”

“If it has to be within reason, what’s the point in me even being out here?”

There was a twinge in Diana’s cheeks, but nothing more. Only the slightest clue that her teeth were clenched together. “You weren’t _meant_ to be out here.”

“Well, now I am. And I’m not going back until I get to do something fun.”

Now it was Diana’s turn to say, “Fine.” She let an unsteady breath ease out her lungs. “Okay, we shall do something you want to do. I’m sure we can come to some sort of amicable agreement.”

But what did Dee want?

What _didn’t_ Dee want?

She had to get started. The nerves in her fingers were itching, desperate for activity. All the imagined scenarios and fantasies that she’d cast aside over the years swarmed back into her mind like a plague, infecting each and every sense with the sheer desire to finally make them into a solid reality.

If she had to start small, so be it. There were a _billion_ small things she had fantasied over. Little things that other teenagers got to do, things that her _friends_ got to do without even a second thought as to why or whether they were even allowed.

Something…

Oh! “I want to change my clothes.”

Diana actually smiled. Whether it was down to relief, or the desire to follow through with these ideas, Dee didn’t know. It was harder to gauge Diana when she was on the outside.

“Of course, Dee. You can wear whatever you like.”

Victory.

Sweet, sweet victory.

It was when they actually returned to their now shared bedroom and Diana opened the wardrobe that Dee realised she likely wasn’t going to be getting any new clothes added into the equation.

“I want Amanda’s clothes; she has jeans.”

“We have jeans,” Diana replied, simply. She wandered through the wardrobe door and leaned over to the side. She pulled out a single pair of black jeans, one that Dee could seldom remember holding, let alone wearing. “See?”

“Yeah, but nothing to go with them.”

“We have _plenty_ of clothes that would work perfectly well with a pair of black jeans.”

“I want a hoodie.”

A step up from a twinge, Diana pinched at the bridge of her nose. “We don’t own a hoodie.”

“Which is why I want to wear Amanda’s clothes.”

“We are not wearing Amanda’s clothes.”

“Akko’s clothes.”

“N-No! No one else’s clothes.”

“Why are you even denying it? I’m _you_. You would love to wear Akko’s clothes.”

“We are _not_ asking Akko if we can wear her clothes.”

“Can we ask her out, then? Then we can wear her clothes later.”

Dee had expected some form of rebuttal. Not a denial; she knew Diana couldn’t deny anything that Dee knew to be true. It was impossible for Diana to lie, in that regard.

But nothing came.

Perhaps Dee was so used to _feeling_ that, even after only an hour of separation, denying those little wonders and ideas felt completely alien in concept. Not when there was nothing in her way. She was Diana Cavendish. _Dee Cavendish._

She could do anything she wanted. So what if Daryl threw a hissy fit, or some old man in his ivory tower felt offended that lesbians existed on the same planet as him. What sway did they truly have over her life?

Money? The Cavendish family name?

How brilliant were they truly, if it meant she was nothing more than a pretty little bird in a gilded cage?

“You can wear whatever you want,” Diana insisted. “So long as you take it from our collection.”

Dee did. Her tights were gone the first chance she had, the skin content with the open hair, to have this layer of nothing rubbing against her skin every moment of everyday. She wanted comfort, something casual. Something she could cross her legs in, something she could wear without having to pretend to care that some blushing idiot could see her underwear.

Perhaps that was why Diana had kept the jeans, in some naïve hope that she would work up the courage to wear them one day.

Not that Diana never wore trousers; riding a horse required them. But that was _business_. That was family business and God forbid she try to wear them outside of such a _prestigious_ event. Proper ladies did not wear trousers.

Proper ladies wore skirts and tights and pointlessly expensive bras and it all felt so meaningless. She wanted joggers, she wanted a tracksuit. She would be a chav, if it came down to the wire.

She wanted to sit in her room, eating crisps and sweets and chips and chocolate buttons whilst watching cartoons. She wanted to watch horror films, documentaries on serial killers and that anime about the girl who doesn’t know that she’s God.

Or video games. She’d never played video games. She wanted to get her friends together to play them, to fight each other with different videogame characters that she didn’t recognise and race karts with the ones that she almost did. She wanted to see what the party games were like, and why everyone said they ended friendships.

She wanted to feel _angry_ when fighting with her friends. She wanted moments where they were heated in competition and absolutely hated each other’s guts right up until the last moment where there was one winner and one loser, and everything immediately went back to normal.

But right now came clothes, and Dee wanted to experience every moment of it.

Skirt, tights. Gone; kicked away and she never wanted to look back.

The entire school uniform went, as everyday as it was. How mundane was her life that the school uniform of Luna Nova had become her default? Even in the moments where school was not in session, it came as a second skin.

Dee let her skin breath, eyes drifting around her limited choices. She wanted jeans, she wanted casual.

Diana Cavendish seldom settled for casual, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. They were often the best at making do with what they had, however.

Jeans, on.

“Yes!”

The sock drawer was next, two pairs removed, and a single sock taken from each of them. The spare riding boots that she’d never fully worn. Why bother when you were too careful to ruin or lose the initial pair?

Then she removed her bra, spinning on her heel as her chest shifted erratically with her.

She was topless, in jeans.

Topless.

_In jeans!_

Diana stood in the door to the wardrobe, her eyes wandering the walls, the drawers. Anywhere but at Dee.

That was fun all on its own. “Why are you even embarrassed? This is _your_ body.”

“I don’t dance around my room half-naked.”

“Well, maybe you should.” She spun again, jigging her hips from side to side. Was her dancing good? No. Would any of her friends even pretend it was good to save her feelings? Probably not.

Did Dee care?

Absolutely not at all.

She stretched her arms, the arch of her back cracking pleasantly with the strain. Her hands came back down to scrape through her hair, nails dragging along the scalp to mess the locks that Diana had spent so long caring for that morning. Akko’s spell had done well to send a few fine hairs astray, but it wasn’t enough.

Dee wanted mess. She wanted new hair.

She wanted her clothes first. Much to Diana’s obvious relief, a plain black t-shirt came next, pulled quickly over her head.

But even that felt incomplete. Dee was Dee, but Dee was still Diana. She wanted an outfit, she wanted to look how she’d always wanted. She–

She picked the now crumpled fabric of her school uniform and pulled it over the t-shirt. She rolled up the sleeves, kept the buttons undone.

School clothes, without the school. Like a rebellious child in primary who wanted to piss off her teachers. Yes.

_Yes!_

Dee could scarcely hold her gleeful smile back as the dancing returned… so she didn’t. Her form bounced up and down on the tips of her toes she landed to strike a pose, hands on hip. Chest forward.

“You can’t wear that,” Diana insisted. _Insisted!_

“You said I could wear whatever I wanted.”

“I didn’t say you could ruin your uniform.”

“You didn’t say that I couldn’t do it.”

She wanted Diana to react. She wanted frustration, and anger. That meant something to Dee. It meant not holding back.

Diana only bit her lip, a new sigh escaping her lips. “You’re not going to take it off, are you?”

“Nope!” And now that clothes were out of the way. “I want to cut my hair.”

Another sigh, another step closer to that bubbling frustration that so rarely reached the surface. “You can’t cut your hair, Dee.”

Even with Akko, it had been diluted. Frustrated, sure. But fuelled by immediate panic and a touch of fear. Nothing purely instinctual, nothing kept inside that she wanted to be free.

“Of course, I can. We just need the scissors from the vanity and–”

“We’re not cutting your hair. I’m sorry, Dee.” Was she, really? “I’m perfectly fine with you wearing your own clothes.” She wasn’t. “And I don’t mind finding something for us to do that will make you feel complete.” Or get me back inside you. “But I have to draw the line at cutting your hair.”

Dee wasn’t exactly from inside Diana. She _was_ Diana, but she also wasn’t. She was a Diana who wanted. She was a Diana who wasn’t a Diana. She would always be a part of Diana, even if she didn’t know it. Whether her existence outside of Diana meant that Diana simply couldn’t act like her, Dee didn’t know. She didn’t know the specifics, nor did she want to waste the time required to discover them.

She just knew what she wanted, and that she wanted it now.

“No hair. Fine, that’s fair,” Dee kindly replied. Not that she considered anything Diana had said to be truly fair. So much for her promise to Holbrooke. “Can you at least help me get this hat? I want this hat.”

Dee stretched up and as Diana approached, she could see a relieved smile. “Of course. I promise, we’ll find something to do.”

“Don’t worry, love; you already have.”

The moment Diana stopped, Dee started. She reached to Diana’s side, picking the wand effortlessly from its holder as she stepped beyond the wardrobe door. Wardrobe doors could be closed.

Wardrobes doors had keys.

At least, Diana’s did. It had offered such peace of mind, to know that her clothes were safe. The semi-magical nature of the lock helped in that regard; even someone who came snooping wouldn’t be able to get in without the key.

Or out, as Dee had decided. Her point was proven as several loud bangs came from the other side.

“What are you doing?” Diana was loud, her voice deep. “Let me out!”

“Absolutely not,” Dee echoed. “Unlike you, I’m doing as Holbrooke asked.”

“She did _not_ ask for you to lock me in my wardrobe!”

“She _did_ tell you to let me do stuff, which you haven’t. Speaking of…”

The vanity.

Diana used it for daily makeup application, slight alterations to her hair when required. Despite that, it was equipped with any tool – magical or otherwise – that any teenager would _die_ for. Every kind of applicator, every brush. Every item rarely or always used.

Dee only had eyes for the scissors.

She was not a stylist. She wasn’t even remotely as competent as the average hairdresser. But she knew what she wanted, and fuck anyone who told her otherwise. She wanted short hair.

She was _so_ getting short hair.

“I can hear you giggling!”

Dee hadn’t noticed, but neither did she try to stifle the joy brewing in her chest. She enjoyed swearing, she enjoyed see things as she wanted to, rather than how she was told. She had even enjoyed dancing topless in front of Diana.

But this childlike glee at seeing her long locks of platinum hair just split free and fall to the floor was almost euphoric. She herself wasn’t permanent, but this reflection, this other Diana that had short, messy hair. This Diana that smiled back in the mirror?

She felt permanent, and that was beautiful.

If time and patience had allowed, Dee might have gone to some professional. Got one side of her head shaved and the other brought down over her face. Dyed it blue or pink or _black_. With black lipstick and torn jeans.

Instead, she settled for the messy bale her hair had become. It ended above her shoulders, the level uneven and the finish far from stylish. If a child had been handed the scissors, Dee supposed they might have done a better job if given enough time.

Dee didn’t have time, but neither did she care for the messy.

It was wild.

It was crude.

It was _gorgeous._

“What have you done? Please tell me you haven’t cut your hair,” the wardrobe door said. “You can’t go out in a haircut you’ve done yourself.”

“Sure, I can. Name one good reason why I can’t.”

Dee could practically smell each the syllables on the all too familiar words Diana was about to spout to her. “We have an _image_ to uphold.”

“Tempting… but, what about – and bear with me here. What if we did something that _we_ wanted to do?”

“Just please tell me you haven’t cut your hair.”

_“You haven’t cut your hair.”_

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it!”

_“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”_

“Stop that!”

Backchat. Cheekiness

All the things her family told her a young lady should never do. _“Stop that!”_

Dee wished she never had to stop. Right now, she didn’t have to. She wandered over to Diana’s bedside cabinet, pulling out her purse. She had no reason to check it; she’d been the one who packed it, after all.

“I’ll come back for you later,” Dee offered, earnestly. Of all the things she wanted, she didn’t want to be cruel. “I promise. I’m just going have some fun. I’ll be back.”

Diana was cruel enough to herself as it was.

“Don’t you dare!”

Almost anger, almost rage. Almost something that could maybe make more noise than her walls were able to hide.

But ladies did not scream, or shout, Dee remembered. And that would serve her well for an hour or two. But as she left the room and the hushed screaming of the wardrobe door, that left a very important question.

What did she want to do for those few hours?

Whether she was Diana or not, there was so much they wanted. So many things they wanted to experience, to get off their chest. So many secrets she wished were open, so many potential hobbies they wished they could take up.

Dee couldn’t do all of them, as much she would try. But she knew what she wanted, and she knew the one person she wanted to do what she wanted with.

“Akko,” Dee whispered.

Akko was everything that Diana wasn’t. She was scatter-brained, excitable, accident prone. She wore her heart on her sleeve and let very little get in the way of what she wanted. She had joined a school in a completely alien country, simply to follow a dream. She had all but mastered the language, speaking beyond fluently in great contrast to all of the other skills.

But she kept going. If she fell down, she got up again. If she scraped her knee, she wiped it against her skirt and got on with her life.

She fought back. She _bit_ back.

Akko attracted strangeness. She planted it, cultivated it and spread it around with all the vim and vigour that she could before beginning the cycle all over again.

Sucy regularly used her as a lab specimen, yet they were still the best of friends.

Lotte was shy and introverted, yet Akko loved her all the same.

She’d befriended Andrew, a boy with whom even Diana had trouble convincing that witches and magic were worth his time. They had bonded, and they were still close. They met regularly to catch up. She was friends with her idol, she was the one who had headed the charge against a missile that threatened to start something close to a new world war.

She had befriended the girl that she considered her rival.

How could Diana not find that beautiful?

Especially with her chestnut hair and the beautiful bum she insisted on hiding beneath skirts and baggy trousers.

_Akko._

Dee would spend her day with Akko. Wandering through the halls, it wasn’t hard to find her. Akko was brash and loud, unabashedly so.

It proved useful from time to time, in that regard.

Now.

She would ask Akko out now.

“Akko!”

Dee could be loud, too. Akko turned, her head popping up like a meerkat as she honed in. “Diana?”

Not quite, but it was a start. “ish.”

“… Diana-ish– Oh! Other Diana.”

“Well done,” Sucy murmured. Lotte was nowhere to be seen, but a crowd hardly mattered.

It could have been the middle of class for all Dee cared.

“I’m Diana, but cooler,” Dee added, wandering in close. So close that she could feel the heat in Akko’s breath. “I’m Dee.”

“Like… the letter?”

“If you want. You can call me anything you want, honeybunch.”

Not important

Distracted. _Distracting._

She was too distracting, too exciting. Akko was right there. Dee was right there with her, beyond ready.

“I want to go out with you,” Dee stated.

Stated. She hadn’t skirted the subject or suggested there was something that she maybe wanted. She had told Akko to her face.

A deep blush spread up Akko’s neck, heating her cheeks and ears. She took in a deep breath and barely managed to let the whole thing back out again.

“Like… _dating_ out?”

“You’ve lived here for well over a year,” Sucy said. “You know what it means.”

Sucy was refreshing company. She was to the point, true to herself. She didn’t hide her true feelings, or keep things hidden from those around. If she thought something of you, she would tell you the first chance that she got.

If it was unpleasant, even sooner than that if she could somehow manage it.

Yet, Dee still felt compelled to clarify. “I would like to date you, Akko.” But talking wasn’t enough. What was worth more than talking? How could she…

Oh. Oh!

Dee set her palms on Akko’s blistering cheeks and moved their head gently closer. The kiss was small, only a few seconds long. But it everything Dee or Diana or anything in-between had ever hoped it would be. It was not messy, with tongues or anything close to vulgar. It was sweet, it was gentle.

Dee could imagine much more, but this moment was the one she had wanted. She pulled back in a slight daze, only sheer excitement for the hours ahead holding her upright and vaguely conscious.

Akko could only stare into space.

“Nice,” Sucy offered, raising her hand.

Diana returned the highest of fives, checking another desire off her list.

More things needed to be ticked off. As many as possible, so that Diana could see what she was missing because there was _so much that she was missing._

“We’re going for food,” Dee added. She let her hands drop to Akko’s shoulders. “I’m taking you out for food. My treat.”

“C-Cool beans,” was all Akko could manage. _Akko was copying her!_ But then the clouds in her head seemed to clear. “Food. I can do food.”

“Good!”

Then came something less sure. Something that lessened the blush in her cheeks. “What about… you know, Diana?”

“I am Diana,” Dee said. “And she is me. I want what she wants, and she wants what I want.”

Something seemed to click into place. “So… Diana likes me?”

“We certainly do.” Dee moved back in, her lips ghosting the invisible hairs on Akko’s skin. “You know what else we like?”

“U-Uh–“

“Cheeseburgers.”

“Diana– I mean… you like cheeseburgers…?”

“We’ve always wanted to try a cheeseburger.” And then Dee pulled back, glittering stars in her eyes and her mouth agape. “ _Double cheeseburgers_. We’re going for double cheeseburgers.”

“Right now?”

Dee shook her purse. “Right now!”


	3. Shamrock the Casbah

Burgers.

Grease.

Chicken nuggets and cheese.

Those were the things that fast-food restaurants were made of.

Not that Akko was complaining, of course. What wasn’t there to love about western food? There was almost a universal nostalgia surrounding it. No matter where you went in the world, there was burgers. There were chips – or fries, to the American connoisseur.

There was always various meats and carbohydrates coated in several kinds of cheese.

It thrived on ensuring that each meal was the exact same in every restaurant, no matter what country you ate it in. In a way, it was the ultimate cure to homesickness. No matter where you went, how far you travelled, you could always come home to a double cheeseburger with chips and a drink. That said, Akko was rather glad there was at least some variation in the choices you had of said restaurants.

Her parents had made her absolutely sick of Quickly Fried Chicken. So many Christmases…

Dee had opted for one of the very few other options open in Glastonbury: a small Burger Queen right across the road from Texco Express.

All hail.

God save, and long may she reign

“What do you think about my hair?” Dee asked, jumping from foot to foot. The general din of the restaurant was minimal, only cut by the steady call for customers to collect their orders. They had at least a few more to go before theirs, at least. A few minutes to kill.

Then Dee added, “I cut it myself.”

That was… obvious.

It was uneven, if Akko were to put it politely. There were certainly more words she could have chosen, but that felt like the one least likely to make Diana angry. Or Dee.

… Would Dee even get angry with Akko?

This new side of Diana, this new Dee. She broke all the rules and patterns that Akko had spent the last year observing. Whatever gauge she had for Diana’s emotional state went out the window with Dee. There was no previous to go on. No way to know if she was going to say something harmful or mean spirited.

“And my clothes! I like these clothes. I’m trying something new.”

Akko couldn’t do that, even to Dee. To this person that felt familiar but exceedingly alien at the same time.

“I’m just kinda glad you’re happy with them.” It was the coward’s way out, but cowards often survived longer. Like in that cartoon with the mystery solving guys and their talking dog. “It’s a little weird seeing you in something that isn’t fancy.”

“I know, right! But isn’t that how it should be?” Dee eyes darted intermittently between Akko and the order screen. Only two more before theirs, assuming they didn’t get lucky. “Just doing what makes you happy? Do you realise how infuriatingly _boring_ it is to have your life dictated by old people with bad moustaches?”

Akko had seen some of the richer folks in Diana’s circle with horrible moustaches, it was true.

“I’ll have you know that it’s terribly boring.”

Yet, as much as that sounded like something Diana would say, it still felt incorrect to Akko. This girl in front of her was Diana, but not at the same time. If she hadn’t seen them split apart, then maybe the change wouldn’t have felt so real. She might have even believed that Diana would shave her head and wear something that wasn’t high-end.

It was impossibly unlikely, but more digestible all the same.

Akko knew was she was talking to someone else. She also recognised that she very much didn’t recognise this person.

Her first date with Diana, and it _wasn’t_ Diana. Not really.

“I’ve wanted to come to one of these for fucking years, I swear.” But Dee had been Diana, or still was. And it was hard to separate them both in the way that Akko wanted. “Do you know how many times I’ve been hungry and walked by this exact Burger Queen?”

“A lot?”

“A _whole_ lot. My family could buy this place,” she added, perhaps a little too loudly. “But _no_. A _lady_ doesn’t eat at Burger Queen. Ridiculous.”

She had a past. She and Diana shared their past. Everything Diana had experienced; Dee had also experienced. And everything Diana had ever felt, Dee felt in this moment.

Diana liked Akko. She liked Akko enough to grab her in the halls of Luna Nova and kiss her right in front of Sucy. She wanted to take Akko out for lunch. She wanted to go out with her.

Diana wanted those things, but Dee had been the one to act on those desires.

What did that mean for their date?

A tired man wandered up the collection counter, a filled tray in his grasp.

“Order ninety-two? Order… ninety-two.”

Dee’s squeal could have shattered time zones. “Yes! Yes, that’s me. It’s mine, gimme!”

The boy did, only after Dee vice-gripped the tray and yanked it from hands. “Come on, love. I want to sit at the window. I want to try people watching.”

With the general midday rush over, plenty of seats were available, several in front of a window. Dee climbed into her chair, gesturing Akko to sit directly opposite. Despite the reservation growing in her head, Akko felt a warmth grow with it in her chest. Something pleasant that she’d always hoped to feel with Diana, one day.

For now, it was enough to keep her mind at ease.

Akko had ordered a burger with chips – or fries, if you were at Burger Queen. English needed to make up its mind – and a milkshake. Not her usual, but close enough to it.

Dee had a double cheeseburger. With bacon. Extra bacon, sauce and salad. Some large fries. A large chocolate milkshake. A large lemonade. A side of onion rings.

And a small chocolate doughnut.

Even by Akko’s standards, it was impressive. If she hadn’t eaten for a day, she would have been all for it. She might have even matched Dee if it was later in the day, or if Amanda had challenged her to a race.

Seeing this dainty girl with Diana’s beaming smile lifting the burger up to her face twisted all sorts of rational preconceptions that Akko had with the universe.

“Itadakimasu!”

Several more, now.

Humans could not, as far as Akko was aware, unhinge their jaw. Or if they could, she imagined it was involuntary and exceedingly painful.

Dee challenged that notion, opening wide, taking in each layer of the burger into a single almighty bite. She then forced it in further, taking another half-bite for good measure. The bun crumbled, tomato and lettuce slipped from the side and sauce oozed out onto Dee’s fingers.

Something close to, “This is so fucking good!” clawed its way out her mouth, past the munching and the food but Akko couldn’t be entirely sure.

What she was sure about was the smile coated in beef and sauce. The sparkle in her eyes, the sheer speed at which Dee continued to eat. It was as happy as Akko had ever seen Diana. Any aspect of Diana.

That felt sad, in itself.

Several mouthfuls later and she moved to the fries. They offered rather more time for small talk. “I’ve been learning Japanese.”

Only several bites into her own burger, Akko couldn’t help but stop. She swallowed. “You’ve been learning Japanese?”

“Yup!”

“Why?”

“Because you’re Japanese! And I want to talk to you properly.”

That certainly made her little moment before the food less weeby. Weebish? Akko couldn’t even be sure if Diana knew what a weeb was. That was a conversation for another day.

“I don’t mind talking in English,” Akko replied. She learned to be fluent at a young age. How could she attend Luna Nova if she wasn’t? “I’m pretty good at it.” And so humble about it, too.

“But you get to hear my real voice.” Then Dee cleared her throat. “Anata no hontō no koe ga kikitai.”

_I want to hear your true voice._

Pronunciation, passable.

Accent, practically non-existent. And spoken a little too slow to be considered anything close to fluent.

Yet, it stopped something inside Akko’s heart. It stopped her breathing, to hear those words leave Diana. To see Dee, it was clear that she was no longer _simply_ Diana. But the voice?

Akko couldn’t separate the two at all.

“How did I do? Was that right?” If Akko ever imagined saying no, she doubted that Dee would care a single flying fudge. “I’ve been practising that one sentence so much. You put the effort to talk to me, so I definitely want to put in the effort for you.”

“It was amazing,” Akko breathed. Then she caught herself. “I-I mean, that was pretty good. You really learned Japanese for me?”

“I don’t want to be an ignorant foreigner, love.”

“… I’m the one who came to your country?”

For the first time, Dee wavered. “Well, yeah. True.” But it didn’t last long. “But I can’t go out with you if I can’t at least whisper sexy things to you in your own language. How fun would that be?”

Fun.

Very fun.

On a scale of zero to fun, it ranked pretty high and Akko really hoped that idea had come from Diana too.

… Diana wanted this.

She wanted all of this… but did nothing about it. She even learned Japanese for a girl she hadn’t asked out.

A girl that she didn’t know even liked her back. And even if Akko didn’t, she doubted Dee would care so long as she got to experience what it was like.

But there it was again; Dee. Not Diana.

Only halfway through her own food, Dee’s fries were gone, the burger demolished. Only a single onion ring remained. Akko hadn’t even seen her touch the milkshake. The lemonade was quickly flowing up a straw, the shadow behind the paper container lowering with each passing gulp.

As fun as it was to see Dee happy, the sauce still clung to her fingers and specks of meat stuck to her cheeks. Akko was prone to mess, but she would have to make sure Dee cleaned up before they left. There was messy, and then there was sticky fingers covered in sticky sauce.

At least one kind of gross. Several more if the true Diana had any say on the matter.

But then Dee stopped, her eyes focusing on the table for a moment. She shifted her neck,

Don’t throw up, don’t throw up, please don’t throw–

A huge vibration shook Dee’s throat as a burp as long as Akko’s arm rung out into the restaurant. Even in the casual noise of people going about their day, the world came to a sudden stop as people turned their heads, pretending not to stare.

“Wait, wait I can do better.” Dee raised her hands, shifting chest until she felt something rise once again.

There was a tiny croak of a burp and Akko couldn’t clutch the side of her ribs quick enough. She skipped the giggles, she skipped the chortles.

Her breathe caught as the laughter gripped her stomach, a booming guffaw overwriting any noise that the burp had made. More eyes turned on them, but Akko didn’t care.

Even if Dee hadn’t started laughing with her, she knew Dee wouldn’t care either.

Eating continued, and Akko heard more random bouts of truth leave Dee’s lips. Dee wanted to watch cartoons, she wanted to go with her friends to see a horror movie. She wanted laze around on the weekends doing nothing but reading the novels she kept putting down because of course she had things that needed to be done.

She also wanted to finish her milkshake, which Akko watched her rigorously attempt. Every few minutes Dee would start again, sucking on the straw for all her life was worth before falling back in her chair and declaring that she was definitely full this time.

After the fifth attempt, she finally closed her eyes in defeat “I’m done.”

“You said that before.”

“I’m going to be sick.”

Please don’t throw up. Please. “A-are you actually going to be sick?”

“If I keep drinking.”

“Might be a good idea to stop that, then.”

“Oh, I am. I really don’t want to be sick.”

How about that. “You do have _some_ restraint then,” Akko giggled.

“I’m not an idiot, you know. I’m still me. I want what I want, and I don’t want what I don’t want. I would rather not be sick. It would spoil my day.”

Likely the day of the other customers, as well. “At least you know when to stop.” If only Dee and Diana could find a middle point between the two.

“I have to.” Dee leaned forward; her eyes lidded. Her forearms pushing her chest only slightly too close together. “Why else do you think I brought you to Burger Queen and not my bedroom?” Then she blew a gentle kiss to Akko’s burning cheeks. “That might make you upset or uncomfortable, and I don’t want that.”

Akko wasn’t sure how that would have made her feel. To have all these same thoughts about Dee and Diana… but in that sort of scenario? She couldn’t imagine it being comfortable.

Her late-night fantasies would have been very disappointed in her, but reality was weird like that.

“Maybe we should get going,” Akko suggested. “Back home.”

“Is that an invitation?”

Hotter, redder. “N-no! No, I just mean in it’s getting late and–”

“I’m joking, love.” Right. Of course. “Just saying; the invitation is always open.”

Noted.

Very, very much noted.

Out in the fresh air, the heavy feeling in Akko’s stomach felt pleasant, the walk alleviating the tiredness that overeating often brought. It did nothing to remove the calories, but it _felt_ like you were making up for the arteries you had otherwise clogged into fatty oblivion.

Despite her upbeat nature, Dee seemed to be the same. Her walk was sluggish, her bounce now non-existent.

“I’ve never overeaten before,” she said with a weak smile. “I don’t want to do that again.”

“Yeah. It’s nice, but you always regret it after.”

Their walk brought them past Marks and Sponsers. Akko had been told it was expensive, but on the _lower_ scale of expensive. Expensive for the people who can’t afford to waste money on anything that actually _is_ expensive.

Or in another fashion, not made for those who can actually afford expensive. “I want new clothes.” Then Dee gasped. “We can go clothes shopping!”

Whether the real Diana realised how clothes shopping was meant to work or not, the trip didn’t last long. Dee remained sluggish, only slithers of her vibrant energy strong enough to move past the pile of food sitting in her gut.

As Dee had said to Akko many times already, she knew what she wanted. Trainers, a bright orange hoodie.

A pack of silk boxers.

Akko was sure underwear shopping with Dee should have been at least a little more exciting. Maybe it was all the gay floating around in her brain, but boxers didn’t give the same effect as lingerie. It covered more, for one thing. And she’d never really seen any women wearing boxers, online or otherwise.

But casual it was, and if Diana or Dee wanted boxers, Akko’s saw no reason to stop her.

It was only outside that Diana came to mind. She had been on Akko’s mind for the whole day, but only now did Diana herself become the main attraction.

“Is… Diana okay with you spending her money? You got the food and the clothes.”

“I’m okay with it, so Diana must okay with it, right?”

Akko glared and repeated herself. “Is Diana okay with you spending her money?”

“If I had to guess?”

“Yes.”

“I would say… no. Not after I locked her in the wardrobe.”

Akko’s gait froze, her eyes focusing. “You locked Diana… in her wardrobe?”

“I mean, she wasn’t going to let me leave otherwise. And I’m going back for her.”

“But you _locked her in a wardrobe.”_

All at once, the day felt cold. Dee felt less like Diana and more like a creature that had taken her place. Not literally; Akko knew she herself was the reason behind it all in the first place. But she’d been out eating food with Dee, whilst Diana was locked in her room.

She’d learned so many new things about Diana, whilst she’d been locked in her room.

She’d been chatted up by Dee, whilst Diana was locked in her room.

… Dee had kissed her, after having locked Diana in her room.

“Because she wasn’t playing fair. How is she meant to do anything with her life if she doesn’t grow a pair of balls and do something about it?”

“But locking Diana in her room?”

“I _am_ Diana. We are _both_ Diana,” Dee asserted. Not angry, or with a scowl. Her expression was almost sad, weighed down by something bigger than Akko could ever know first-hand. “We lock so much shit away and we never get to see it again. This has been the best day out I’ve had in months. I’ve wanted to do so many things for such a long time and I’ve done so many of them in just a few hours. I’ve wanted a double cheeseburger since I was ten, Akko.”

Akko couldn’t imagine waiting that long for something so small as a cheeseburger. Luna Nova had been her dream, ever since she was a little girl. It had been her one goal in life, right up until she took her first steps onto the grounds.

That was big.

That was a _dream_.

Diana’s dream was a cheeseburger and some boxers.

Dee grew quieter still, her hands balling into tight little fists. “I know I’ve upset you, Akko. I don’t want that. I’m… sorry.” Then she took a deep breath. “But I would do it again. And so would she, if she had even one hour that felt like it feels to be me. I locked the wardrobe door… but she was the one that made me want to do it.”

Literally.

On any other person, in any other context that would have been an awful excuse. Blaming someone else for something that you did.

But Dee _was_ Diana, in several senses. Everything she wanted was something that Diana wanted. Diana wanted to run away from herself. Diana wanted to lock herself away somewhere and throw away the key.

Diana wanted that cheeseburger.

“We should go and let her out,” Akko said, then.

“She’ll only lecture me and make me stop. Make me stop doing things that _she_ wants to do. She’s the person we don’t want to be, not me.”

“Well… maybe she’s seen that. And maybe if you guys turn back into one person, she’ll know it even better.”

“She better. I’m not waiting another seven years for a cheeseburger.”

Maybe with a little nudge, it wouldn’t be.


	4. The Leeky Cauldron

The door to the wardrobe finally – _finally_ opened and Diana smoothly straightened her back, pulling away from the now warm wall she had been resting against. The urge she felt to crack the knuckles in her fist was swiftly broken by the eyes that met her from outside the door.

Akko.

“Hello again!” Dee said. Her head popped from just out of sight as she stood next to Akko. “I have good news.”

The presence of Akko for said good news could only mean that Diana would not agree with that assumption. “What ‘good news’?”

“We have things to tick off the list!” she gleefully sang, holding the final syllable for more seconds than Diana cared for. “I went for cheeseburgers, had a date with Akko, got a high-five from Sucy, did some people watching, got our first kiss, ate too much food and got some sexy pants.”

Dee held up a pair of silk boxers, shaking them around by the elastic waist. “See?”

A noise that could only be described as something produced by a squeamish horse vibrated at her lips before Diana brought her palm down over that same elastic. “W-what are you doing?! Put them down!” Dee acquiesced, though still continued to shake them, just out of sight.

That was not the aspect of the list that gave Diana an uneasy feeling in her stomach. “What… what do you mean you got a date with Akko?”

And their first kiss…?

Utterly unperturbed by the boxer shorts, Akko pulled her fingers up through her chestnut hair. She scratched awkwardly at the back of her head, though she made sure to keep a gentle eye contact. “Dee kinda kissed me in the hall. Then took me out to Burger Queen. It was… just a little bit weird.”

“See? Just a little bit!” Dee squealed, clapping like a freshly praised child. “I call that a win!”

A win, she says.

A win…

How could it possibly be a win when Diana was not the one to have her own first kiss? With the girl she adored. The girl she had not even managed to confess her feelings to, not in all the months that she wondered on the potential futures they could have together. Diana had imagined going to Burger Queen. She had imagined going with Akko; she knew her friend liked burgers. She knew that she frequented Burger Queen with Amanda.

Even Andrew, once. If Akko hadn’t been openly into women, Diana might have worried that there was something deeper than friendship between them.

She had worried anyway, despite all logical reasoning.

Yet, the relief when that anxiety faded did nothing to fuel her efforts. They stagnated, lost in her usual flood of duties and important family business. Akin to a marsh, it was pungent and ever present.

Not something Diana could easily hide from herself.

Dee had waded in regardless. She had jumped in and come out victorious despite it all. Was it the confidence? Her lackadaisical attitude towards tradition and formality?

The fact that she wasn’t all the things Diana needed to be.

Maybe that was simply it; she was not Diana. She was something better than just Diana. She was the Diana that Diana could only wish she might someday be, free from all the stifling control her life insisted surround her at every moment of every day.

Maybe it always would be someone like Dee that won, in the end. Someone with the freedom and fancy to do as they so choose.

“Diana?” Akko’s voice broke into the haze of anxiety, then. Like always, it brought a calming warmth to Diana’s heart. “Diana.”

“Yes, Akko?”

“You really like me?” she asks. “Like the way Dee does?”

This wasn’t how all of this was meant to happen. It was to be planned, if it was to happen at all. It was to be regal, and beautiful and as romantic as anything Diana had ever read in all her novels. It was to be perfect. Not for her, but for Akko. It had to be perfect, for someone like Akko. For someone who had done so much and could do so much more.

It was supposed to be Diana’s confession. Not some other girl who got to walk away in her place. Dee stood a little back from Akko, nodding quickly and confidently.

For the first time in years, Diana rung out her hands in a quiet nervousness. It was silly. Diana knew that Akko knew. Dee was many things in that moment, but she was still Diana.

It made it no less difficult a confession to make. “Yes. I do.”

Not that she should have been nervous, logically. Not when Dee had already kissed her, now when she knew Akko had gone along with the whole ordeal, and not complained about any of it.

In that manner of speaking, ‘just a little bit weird’ was indeed a victory, of sorts.

“I would have rather not revealed my feelings quite like this… but I suppose I don’t have much of a choice, now.” As always.

But it wasn’t an absolute victory.

“How do you feel about me?”

Dee gave a victorious thumbs up. For the effort, or a hint to Akko’s answer? Diana wasn’t sure.

It turned out to be both.

“I like you too! I’ve liked you for, uh… quite a bit.”

Though hypocritical, Diana had to ask. “Why didn’t you say anything to me?”

“Sort of thought you were a little out of my league. And I didn’t know you were gay until last year, so…”

“Out of our league?” Dee frowned. “Are you shitting me?”

“… No?”

“What are you even talking about? You’re amazing, you little idiot!” Harsh, but Diana didn’t have the chance to get her own word in. “You helped save the world! You learned a whole new language and travelled halfway across the fucking planet to join a very prestigious school and actually got in just because you wanted to do what Chariot did! Do you know how many girls get turned away from Luna Nova each year?”

“Uh, I mean, not technically, but–“

“Dozens. Literal dozens don’t get in because they’re not good enough and you got it with no prior practical experience. You didn’t even know how to use a ley line. I didn’t even know any of that was physically possible until I met you.”

Akko blushed. “I-I mean, I _guess_ that all sounds pretty good. You know, on paper.”

“You wielded the Staff of the Seven Stars. You revived the Seven Words of Arcturus and stopped a missile. A _missile.”_

“The missile was more a group effort–“

“Shut up. Seriously, just shut up. You’re amazing. We think you are utterly amazing. And you’re gorgeous.”

Akko’s eyes flicked to Diana, and neither could help admire the red on each other’s cheeks.

“You’re hair so straight and silky, and you have the best bum I’ve ever seen, and I haven’t even seen it yet, and you have no idea how much I would let you do to me if–“

“Have _some_ self-restraint.”

Dee scoffed at Diana. “What, you uncomfortable telling the girl who wants to be your girlfriend that she’s sexy?”

“There is a time and a place!”

“Yeah, sure. What time? What place?” Dee bit back. “I had three hours. Three. Wee. Hours. And I got shit done. Who got the date? _I_ got the date. While you were locked in a wardrobe.”

“You were the one that locked me in there!”

“No, _you_ locked you in there. Or the _closet_ , if you prefer. You wanted an out. I _am_ the out. All the things you’ve wanted for years, all the things you think you’ve missed out on, I got done in less than half a day. Less than a quarter of a day.”

In barely an eighth of a day…

Something hot was building at the back of Diana’s eyes. A sadness overcoming the side of her brain that was desperately applying logic to every little thing that Dee was throwing at her. All the explanations and reasons that Dee was wrong, and Diana was right.

“Just… just imagine what else we’ve missed, our whole life because you had _self-restraint.”_

Diana wasn’t crying.

The sting in her eyes told her that she would be soon.

Never had her room felt like such a dangerous space. It had always been somewhere she could drop that mask, if only for the time it took to climb into bed and push back out of it the next morning. It offered a darkness where she could simply exist without justifying it.

Now she herself was making it unbearable. The daylight still presided outside the windows, but the darkness closing in felt suffocating. It coated her heart in all the slimy little things she didn’t want to hear. Not from herself.

Not when Dee had done it all so easily.

Her room was the one place she _could_ cry if she ever wanted, and now even that was taken away from her. So she’d left.

Sitting out in the open, under a tree. That was safe; she couldn’t show her tears in public, but the ambience relaxed her, nonetheless. It was a middle ground, and one she was happy to find.

For however long she was there for.

Longer than she thought, it seemed. The sight of Akko walking through an alcove commanded her attention. Quick on her feet, but too out of breath to run anymore.

Diana didn’t try to hide, and Akko found her with little effort.

Diana just stared into the sky, breathing in the fresh air until something sweeter broke into the silence.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Diana replied. Dee could do casual. Was there a better time to try herself? “Where’s Dee?”

“She’s sleeping. Said she ‘couldn’t be arsed with Diana’s shit’ anymore.”

“At four in the afternoon?”

“Her words, not mine.”

A smile tugged at the corners of Diana’s mouth. “I guessed as much. So much for her being Diana.”

“I think she’s more leaving the rest to you, y’know? She’s said all her stuff. And she said she wanted to try being lazy during the day.”

“That would be nice, every now and then.” To just curl up under the duvet and forget about the world, if only for just a little while. “I rarely get the chance to sleep in, let alone try again in the afternoon.”

The songs of a dozen birds filled the otherwise empty air, met with only the rustling of short grass in the afternoon breeze. Diana let her head rest against the back of the tree, closing her eyes. She felt a form sit next to her shortly after.

For a while there was no talking, no… whatever it was that was going to happen. Just Diana and Akko, taking that rare moment to just _be._

Those moments did not last for Diana, but for once, she wanted to be the one to decide that. “How was your date with Dee,” she asked, quieter than she had intended.

“Honestly? Kinda weird. She was really messy with her food and super loud when she chews.”

“Hmm…”

“And it was also weird. Another kind of weird, I mean. Because she was you, but she also wasn’t you at the same time. And she didn’t act like you, but she spoke like she was you. But I still thought it was sweet. That all the bits of her that are you wanted to ask me out and take me to Burger Queen.”

Diana exhaled a gentle laugh. “I would have perhaps not taken you to Burger Queen.”

“You seemed pretty excited about Burger Queen.

There really wasn’t anything left to deny, was there? “I admit I’ve always wanted to. But I wouldn’t have taken you there. I would have planned ahead of time. Chosen a restaurant you might like. Somewhere… romantic. To impress you.”

“Pfft, you really don’t need to impress me. I’d be good wherever.”

“Even a Burger Queen, Akko?”

“Hey, I learned something new about you. And it would still be with you.”

As long as it was her, Diana mused.

Akko really was wonderful, wasn’t she? All the frivolous things she could have said or judged about something as simple as a Burger Queen, and Akko only wanted to know that the food would be eaten with Diana.

Moments like these brought a sting with them, remembering how she had initially treated Akko during their first year at Luna Nova.

Looking back, she was even more strained then than she was now. Akko may have split her apart, but she had been working away at Diana’s walls for a while now. Piece by piece until there was finally just Diana, not something made to look like her.

No one had ever offered Diana such selfless niceties. Or if they had, they had little impact or desire to show it.

“You’ve been interested in me for a while, then?”

“Oh, yeah! It’s been ages. You’re…” Akko searched her hands for the correct words. “You’re smart, and powerful and amazing with magic. You know everything before I even learn what stuff is called and you don’t shove it in my face. You’re all calm and cool with stuff doesn’t work out and you’re gorgeous. Dee said you liked brunettes but I kinda prefer blondes.”

Smooth, Diana thought with a smile. “But you thought I was out of your league?”

“Diana, you are out my league. You’re from a super old, super important witch family.”

Diana’s response was swift. She laid her own hand over Akko’s her thumb stroking gently at the knuckle. “Don’t you ever think that, Akko. I’m not better than you.”

Akko pinched two of her fingers close together. “Not even a little bit?”

“Not even a little bit. If anything, I’m jealous of you. You get to run around and follow your dreams. You came to England to follow your dream. My dreams were set in stone before I was born.”

“No, your dreams are still your dreams. Your dream is to have cheeseburgers.”

“I wouldn’t call that a dream.”

“I would. It’s just a different size to mine.” Akko smiled. “Don’t you ever think your dreams aren’t important, Diana.”

“Is that you trying to use my own advice against.”

“Duh. Someone’s got to keep you line.” Quite. “So, _I_ know why I didn’t ask you. Why didn’t you ask me out?”

That was the next big conversation, wasn’t it? “Expressing myself isn’t exactly… easy for me. Nor is it straightforward. I have a reputation to uphold. Professing a desire to with someone is a rather alien feeling. It didn’t sit well in my stomach, knowing I might have to bring you into the Cavendish lifestyle.”

“Because you think I’ll mess it up, or something?”

“No! No, I–I would never think that of you. Not of anyone I cared about. And I would never be ashamed of you.”

“Such a sweet talker.”

“Apparently so.”

“Why then?”

“Life with my family is hard. It can be frustrating. All of the judgement and high society… crap. High society _crap_.” Not quite as unsavoury as what Dee had first said, but novel enough. It brought a smile to her, as it did not Akko.

“See? Dee definitely comes from you. We’ll have you swearing like a sailor in no time.”

“We’ll see about that. But life is hard for me. I cope, but it’s hard. And I don’t want to force someone else into that life with me.”

“But you want me in your life?”

“Definitely.”

“And me being there would kind of help with all your stuff, right?”

Diana avoided the answer she wanted to give. “It might make your worse.”

“That’s just a ‘might’, though. And I’m guessing having me there would make your life a thousand times better.”

No use hiding that, either. “Maybe,” Diana said with a smile. “And it’s not a definite. There are no definites in life but being a part of my family will be frustrating. Adapting to it will be frustrating.”

But it was still a might. Akko wasn’t much for tradition; Diana knew that much. It would be refreshing to have that as a constant in her life. An extended family member that went against the proverbial grain instead of pushing her along with it.

And bringing in a Japanese partner would be certain shake up certain aspects of the older families. The old fools who still believed country borders were physical deterrents and nothing else should be allowed in. They could go out; they could go anywhere.

But no outsiders were allowed in.

Diana said as much. “If Andrew and his friends are any indicator, I doubt the majority of families would even give the issue a passing glance. They wouldn’t think it an issue at all. But many won’t like that someone has been brought in from outside their little circle.”

“But you’ll be there. And so will Andrew, and the guys and all of our other friends. Sucy wouldn’t let them touch me, and you know it.”

“I do.”

“And I know this sounds like I’m talking back at you, but I’d rather see for myself, instead of you saying I can’t handle it.”

“I know that too. That’s why I’m trying very hard to convince you otherwise.”

“Aww, don’t be that way. You know you want me.”

Diana did.

She really, really did.

And in that moment, she decided she had to. “Can I kiss you?” she asked. “I can’t promise to be anything like Dee. But I want that first kiss. With you.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say no to a kiss from Diana Cavendish.”

Diana’s laugh wasn’t quite bitter, not really. But she doubted it held the positive air a laugh was meant to have. “You already have, haven’t you?”

“Nope. No, I have not,” Akko stated, hands on hips. “I was kissed by Dee. The girl I’ve had a crush on is called Diana. Ask Sucy; she’ll be glad that I’ve finally said something.” And then, in her best Sucy impression. “ _Dali na, dali na!_ ”

“Dali na?”

“Hurry up. In Filipino. At least, Sucy says that’s what it means. She could just be swearing at me.”

“Quite possibly.”

“But she’s been pushing me for a bit. She was getting a little annoyed at me for not saying anything.”

Hardly surprising, if Akko’s retelling of Sucy asking out Lotte is to be believed. Blunt, very much to the point. No asking if Lotte was even into girls. No fretting over pointless details or potential worries for the future. She got the result she wanted.

And if she hadn’t? She had tried, and that would have been enough, knowing Sucy.

Then again, she supposed even the likes of Sucy Manbavaran had worries when no one else was looking. Many certainly had the idea that Diana was above such things. Why not the enigmatic Sucy?

“I’m certainly frustrated with myself. If I had known you were interested, I might have brought up the topic sooner.”

“It’s fine. Just means we’re both idiots.”

“I suppose so.” But Diana was done with all of that. “So… a kiss?”

“Yes, a kiss.”

Diana didn’t know what Akko had experienced with Dee, but she wasn’t aiming to replicate. She wanted the moment she always imagined and for the first time in her life, she was getting it.

The moment was brief and tender. As much as she had planned this out in her head, in a thousand different scenarios, this felt all the sweeter. It was real, it was happening. It wasn’t a stray thought she humoured when no one else was looking.

This was a moment between Akko and herself, their lips and nothing more.

But then Dee came to mind, and what she would do. She would go further, because that was what Diana wanted. She wanted more of this moment, more to fill up the lost time.

For the second time in her life, Diana did as she wanted. She didn’t know what she was doing. Diana would admit as much to Akko if pressed, but rough ideas and the need in her nerves pushed her into a deeper kiss. Nothing raunchy, nothing with heavy breathing or the moans she’d read in her novels. It was something more personal to them, more passionate.

It wasn’t much in the grand scheme of things, but it was more than she had ever hoped for.

The kiss wasn’t long, but the urge to breathe harder overtook Diana when she finally pulled back. She saw the same in Akko, her cheeks the rosier red that she was becoming accustomed to.

“Was that okay?” Diana asked.

“Yes. Very. Very okay, thank you.”

The pride rising in Diana’s heart was one that she’d never been so glad to accept. Yet, she was curious. “What was it like, kissing Dee?”

“Similar, at the start. You, uh… went a bit further. It was nice.”

The pride would linger for a while, it seemed. But on the subject Dee, sat in the courtyard, a final question occurred to Diana.

Was Dee ready to return to Diana?

Was Diana ready for that, herself.

Two questions, but two easily answered. Diana returned to her room, Akko by her side. If she was to make everything right, it only felt natural to have Akko there with her. To fix what was started, sure. But the comfort it brought? That was a pleasant extra.

Less than pleasant was Dee, draped over the top of Diana’s bed. The milky skin of her legs was on near-full display, with only a hoodie and those damned boxer shorts covering her at all.

Wearing them, that apparently meant something to Akko. Thinking of her crush wearing boxers clearly hadn’t registered as anything special but seeing seemed to be a very different story.

Diana wasn’t flushed, however.

She was utterly mortified.

“D-dee, up. Wake up.”

“Hmm…?”

“Up. You need to get up.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“Or you need to get dressed, at least.”

“Why bother; I’m in our room.”

“Akko is here!”

Dee grabbed and promptly pulled them up over her eyes. “What do you care? You want to fuck her at some point anyway.”

O-oh..

Oh no.

A quick glance back at Akko offered a very confident stare. “Oh, really?”

Diana ignored her. “You’re getting up.”

“Uuuuugh, noooo.”

“Now.”

Diana had become a morning person out of necessity. If she hadn’t, she likely wouldn’t have survived long enough to even attend Luna Nova.

Dee had apparently been left behind, in that regard. Nor did she appear to be an afternoon sort of girl, either.

Groggy as she was, Dee’s first subject of attention was still Akko. “Hey babes. Like what you see,” she purred, thumb pulling at the elastic of her underwear.

“Dee!”

“Fiiine. Fine, have it your way. But we’re keeping the boxers. They’re comfy and you need better pyjamas.”

Then she stood, arching her back and stretching tall. “Right. I’m good.”

“You’re… good?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Had myself a pretty good day. Ate good food, kissed the girl I liked. Got a date out of the whole shabang, too. What’d you get?”

“I–I, um…”

Akko came up, resting hands on Diana’s shoulders. “She got a kiss too.”

“Nice. You initiate?”

“I asked,” Diana answered.

“Eh, I suppose that’s a good start. Just don’t go full prude, okay?”

“I-I am not a prude!”

“See, _I_ know that,” Dee quickly replied. She motioned to Akko. “She probably does, too. Try showing it a little every now and then. If I have to come back out here to get a good snog then I’m not going to be happy.”

“You’re ready to get back together again, then?”

“Sure, not like I was doing much else. If anything, it’s more effort being out here than it is chilling in your head. Just let me show every now and then.”

All said and done, Diana couldn’t agree with Dee more. The spell was a simple one. Dee returned her wand and, without the need for preparation, Diana took in a deep breath.

“Ready?”

“Sure. Oh, Akko?”

“Yeah?”

“If you ever want a cheeky threesome with the two of us, all you have to do is ask,” she said with a quick wink.

Head as clear as it was ever going to get with Dee around, Diana said her piece. The spell cast. A gentle light swirled around her, around Dee. She couldn’t see through it, but neither was the light truly blinding. It warm and nostalgic, as if she was returning home for the first time in years.

And then there was only Diana left.

The room fell quiet as Dee’s final comment hung in the air. Diana could see the smirk stretching onto Akko’s face, in preparation for some cocky remark, no doubt. But Diana got in there first. “Weird day.”

“Yeah, weird day. But good weird?”

“Yes, good weird.”

Diana picked up the boxers and hoodie now on the floor. “I think I will keep these. I don’t have a hoodie.”

“Or boxers.”

Diana blushed and stared Akko down. “Let’s keep it good weird.”

“Got it.”

As Diana moved to her messy sheets and dumped the offending clothes onto her bed, Akko piped up. “I am sorry for all of this. I didn’t mean to, you know, split you in two.”

That was something, wasn’t it? She’d never gotten the answer to that, not really “What were you even trying to do to those roses?”

“I was, uh… Okay. I mean, you’ve told me stuff today so I might as well do the same. I was trying to turn the red roses into pink and white. Split them apart and transmute the, you know? Then… maybe give them to you. Show you I can be romantic and good with casual magic.”

Roses, for her.

Of course, they were for her. Memories were shifting in the back of her head as she remembered the moment it all happened. Diana saw it from two places, from two different points of view, both of them very much her own. Not now, but maybe it would be good to remember being Dee, to see what it was truly like.

Technically, she’d had that first date after all.

“But instead of giving me some roses, which is very sweet of you… you split me in two.”

“At least I still hit something pretty.”

Also very sweet.

Wanting to give into her desires again, no matter how briefly, Diana moved from her bed and pulled Akko into a hug. And because she could, she kissed Akko on the cheek.

“You’re pretty too.” And then once more. “Babes.”


End file.
